The Halloween Post

I went this entire Halloween without once hearing "Monster Mash". Part of me wants to be thankful that that godawful song has finally fallen from the position of esteem it once held on the Oldies and Light Rock stations that covetted it, but the other part of me (you know, I divide cleanly in two if you work hard enough) kind of misses it. I have no applicable analogies at this point. Go ahead and fill in your own here.

There was also a lot less candy in my life this time around. I wonder why that is. It's probably the busy-ness, and the fact that without trick-or-treating, you get much less variety. Sure, you'll go to the grocery store and buy yourself an economy-sized bag thinking you'll be able to eat the entire thing of Reese's pumpkins, but after the third or fourth or nineth, you realize you are human, and you just can't do it. Curse mortality and all its limitations!

A friend of mine (actually, he's not really a friend... more like "a forced aquaintance"; I never know how to describe those people) said that I would probably end up being something sexy for Halloween. Because that's what the college girls do these days, they dress up in a predictable (and occasionally unpredictable) outfit, but make it sexy. So I refused to be sexy, and dressed up as a candy corn (yellow t-shirt, orange pants, white knee-high socks and various accessories with candy corn hot glued to them [note: candy corn does not enjoy being hot glued to anything ever; if attempted the corn that tastes like candy will rebel and fly off of your homemade jewelry all night, and hit people in the eye]). And I have to admit, I felt pretty unsexy... all night long.

The day after Halloween I was at an event for my service fraternity (don't ask... just call me "Brother Lisa"), and a girl there was dressed up like candy corn too! Except her outfit involved a mini-skirt and a plunging neckline. I don't know what the means, or what lessons can and should be drawn; I just thought I'd throw it out there.

In conclusion, Halloween was a scary event in which I witnessed people having sex (or one very involved make-out session) on the Arts Quad and concluded that any costume (seriously, any) can be made in such a way that a college girl will look like a fruity tooty lil sex kitten.